#60- America’s Test Kitchen is for Amateurs


Upon reflection of this earlier post, I began to wonder, is Frank’s Hot Sauce really my favorite brand? Have I given other brands a fair shot at the title? No, I haven’t. So, tonight:

I performed a blind taste test.

I asked my trusty assistant to administer an unbiased arrangement of the various brands while I prepared myself for the challenge in the adjacent room. There may or may not have been a Jock Jams CD playing.

Before battle royale:

The line-up:

The incumbent- acting all cocky:

So, I dipped my finger in each one, and cleansed my palate with a chug of water post-taste. The assistant wouldn’t let me try them with chips, as he insisted the salt would taint the true taste of the hot sauce. He acts like he studies this shit all day.

And…………..drumroll, folks.


The Winner, by TKO:

Moral of this story: Wear a diaper to bed if you try this after 7pm.

Fun Factor: 10


10 Comments Add yours

  1. pbades says:

    I call taste test foul. There is no way that Choula did not win, it is by far the superior hot sauce. No chips? How can this be? Hot sauce does not stand on it’s own, it by its’ very nature is made to complement other foods. I will be submitting my protest to the proper taste test authorities.

    Thank you

  2. cogsy says:

    If it makes you feel better, Cholula came in a close #2, followed by Preferida at a more distant #3. The “loser” was the only one where I actually didn’t like the taste of it. But hey, go ahead and file a formal compaint, you magnificent bastard.

  3. esther says:

    at the risk of being the second reader from the office next door to leave a comment regarding this post, and thus reinforcing wild rumors regarding the productivity within said office, i couldn’t help but notice the resemblance between your taste-test lineup and the top shelf of the noble pantry.

    it looks like you’re well on your way to achieving goal 37 and subsequent locavore status. well done.

  4. Lindsay says:

    Stan the man would be proud!

  5. Abby says:

    is it weird that i’m still confused that you love hot sauce.

  6. Frank says:

    In the photo you look like a hostage in the Middle East, or a young senorita waiting to smash a pinata.

  7. Loyster says:

    I don’t know about you but I think it’s good parenting to encourage your children to become foreign hostage bait……maybe next you could encourage her to refuse asthma treatments during flu season.

  8. Frank says:

    I’m all for breaking new ground. Isn’t that what this blog was all about?

  9. Loyster says:

    Breaking ground, yes….killing off family members, no.

  10. Suri says:

    How quickly you forget Red Devil from the land of your birth? I demand a re-taste.

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