Drumroll, Please…..

So, firstly, I’d like to thank everyone who participated in the caption contest.  We had some verbose veteran comment-makers, not that there’s anything wrong with that, and some newbies as well.  The showing made me a proud little blogger.  I managed to capture my excitement on video, so please watch the 2 videos below (in order)…turn the volume on if you want to hear my thoughts or if you want the videos to make sense.  

Part 1:

Part 2:




These two lovely humans are about to be showered with prizes.  First, they will be sent a congratulatory note via someecards.  One lucky lady will get this one, and the other this.  Still not sure who will get which yet, seeing as though one of them is my mother.  She’s really sensitive, old-fashioned and frequently shits herself. If you haven’t spent time surfing through these ecards, consider the next two hours of your day shot.

Secondly, the winners can choose between the following two prizes: this fine accessory will liven up any stripper party, and I just really want someone to try these. 

Sheryl, since you were picked first, you get first dibs.  Leave your preference in the comment box yo.


#149- Yo, I suck.

I attempted to master a yo-yo trick.

Any trick would have done, but I found that mastering a yo-yo trick is fairly difficult when you cannot even master the basic up and down function.

I have more respect for dudes like this and this after trying to become adept at the yo-yo, whereas prior to attempting the tricks I mocked them and called them burn-outs. 

The equipment:



Fun factor: 7

#148- Classin’ things up over here

I first experienced tasting this new thing at Green Zebra a few years ago and it was truly divine.  

I made french pressed coffee. 

After shopping around, I realized that many french press machines are not expensive.  I bought this one at World Market.  The first few times I used it resulted in failure.  I then realized I wasn’t doing it correctly- I was pushing down the press before I let it steep.  Oh, the embarrassment.  When I corrected my mistake, the coffee came out slightly better, but still not great.  I wonder if the Costco brand coffee I used doesn’t fare so well in a french press.  I will try again with some decent coffee, but overall I remain annoyed.  


Fun factor: 7

#147- May the best human win.

A lot of the blogs I read host “give-aways”.  The general idea is that readers leave comments and the blogger selects one as the winner in a variety of ways.  Sometimes the comments answer a question or give a suggestion.  

So, for my new thing today:

I’m hosting a reader give-away.

As a way to try to coax my audience back from the dead (reader count is at an all time low), I’m trying to bribe you all with this. Who doesn’t want to receive an average-at-best major award via U.S. mail?  (I’ll announce the prize when I announce the winner).

In order to be eligible to win, you must create a caption for the photo below and leave it in the comment box.  I can’t take credit for this photo caption idea- it came from avid OWTO reader Johanna.  In addition to hosting caption contests, Johanna likes pencil pants and all things vampire.


NOTE: I will stop taking entries one week from today (Wednesday, 11/19), and I will mail the prize on Friday, 11/21. There will be no scientific system of determining a winner; I will select which I like best.  Feel free to leave multiple comments.  If you win and I don’t know your mailing address, I will email you via your comment’s email address.


Fun factor: 10+

#146- I’m All Booked Up

I joined a book club.


The claim that this is a new thing might be a fib.  I think I have joined a book club before without actually attending a single meeting.  Fall of  2005.  It was a classic case of something that sounded so fun and then the realization came that not only did I have no time for the meetings, but certainly no time to read the book.  Stress crept up as the meeting date approached and all that was left to do was bail.  So sue me.  This new book club is nice, because it’s a work book club, so the time is automatically built in to my work day.  I don’t have to leave the building.  We are currently reading this book.  Yes, it’s a little heavy, but the point is to read books that are pertinent to our work.  I do have to find the time to read the book, which has only proved troublesome once so far.  The repercussion was that my end-of-year bonus was reduced by 10%. 


Fun factor: 8

#145- Mild Adultery

Dear Blog,


I am a very bad owner. If you were human, you would have been taken to child services several months ago.  Luckily, the only side effect of my neglect has been hate mail from those readers whose quality of life has been drastically reduced during our absence.  Several things have happened since we last spoke including a weather change, a few holidays and the fact that:


I joined Facebook.


You see, I went on a journey to find myself, yet needed only to travel a few clicks to discover what life is really about: perusing Facebook.  I’m not sure why I really care about knowing when an acquaintance has added a new favorite quote to his page, but I do.  I often wonder why I spend time looking at a distant colleague’s weekend photos.  Why do I enjoy creating useless “groups” that only exist to garner a cheap laugh?


Don’t worry, this new friend doesn’t possess your decency or resilience; I’m sure it’s a temporary fix.  What’s important is I’m back and committed to giving us another try.  



Fun factor: 10+