#147- May the best human win.

A lot of the blogs I read host “give-aways”.  The general idea is that readers leave comments and the blogger selects one as the winner in a variety of ways.  Sometimes the comments answer a question or give a suggestion.  

So, for my new thing today:

I’m hosting a reader give-away.

As a way to try to coax my audience back from the dead (reader count is at an all time low), I’m trying to bribe you all with this. Who doesn’t want to receive an average-at-best major award via U.S. mail?  (I’ll announce the prize when I announce the winner).

In order to be eligible to win, you must create a caption for the photo below and leave it in the comment box.  I can’t take credit for this photo caption idea- it came from avid OWTO reader Johanna.  In addition to hosting caption contests, Johanna likes pencil pants and all things vampire.


NOTE: I will stop taking entries one week from today (Wednesday, 11/19), and I will mail the prize on Friday, 11/21. There will be no scientific system of determining a winner; I will select which I like best.  Feel free to leave multiple comments.  If you win and I don’t know your mailing address, I will email you via your comment’s email address.


Fun factor: 10+


26 Comments Add yours

  1. Sheryl says:

    Bilateral lower leg edema noted. Prognosis: negative.

  2. Jackie says:

    Happy Feet!

  3. Cooking Hussy says:

    After a marathon night of Sex and the City and a little pampering, Nick was really starting to get in touch with his feminine side.

  4. Loyster says:

    Give ’em a minute to wake up. Then they’ll dance for you.

  5. Loyster says:

    ………then the Left Big Toe, who was a cocky little bastard, looked up at the Right Big Toe and said “you lookin’ at me?”

  6. Loyster says:

    Yet another victim of the classic “saw a person in half” magic trick performed by an amateur.

  7. JeJe says:

    My pajama pants shrunk overnight, but hey, my bunions are gone!

  8. Frank says:

    I will offer up multiple possibilities:
    1)”I know you are but what am I.”
    2) “That’s what she said.”
    3) “It’s bad enough we’re stuck in this frame. Now we have to smell her feet all day.”
    4) “Please, somebody call a tow truck.”
    5) “Everybody now, The ankle bone connected to the pillow, the pillow connected to the couch, the couch connected to the …………….etc.
    6) “This is the best way to prepare for a date with David Copperfield.”
    7) The latest furniture decorations since The Christmas Story Lamps.
    8) This is the risk you take when Scotty beams you down.
    9)”That reminds me, I think I will order a Rusty Nail at dinner tonight.”
    10) “This is actually a page from a medical book(podiatry) illustrating the case study of a Morton’s Toe. Poor girl.
    **If I don’t hear that I won, I’ll submit another ten before next Wednesday.

  9. Sheryl says:

    Just another painful reminder of your feet-first
    entry into this world.

  10. Bomber says:

    This little piggy went to market,
    This little piggy stayed at home,
    This little piggy had roast beef,
    This little piggy had none.
    And this little piggy went…
    “Wee wee wee” all the way home…

  11. Bomber says:

    When you read my entry please imagine Sarah Cracas saying the words…the voice of an angel. 🙂

  12. bob says:

    Robert Maplethorpe would have a field day with this.

  13. Loyster says:

    Playing the kid card isn’t going to help your odds Bomber.

  14. Willis says:

    Amazing…..after all these years I still have ten.

  15. She-Doggs says:

    “Nick, do we still have the number of that blacksmith?”

  16. gdaybloke says:

    “This little piggy went to Starbucks”

  17. betsy says:

    “Thank God it’s not opposite day “

  18. Johanna says:

    Her epitaph will read, “Blogger, Sister, Friend, Common-Law Wife, Fashionista, Avid Runner….but in the end, it was Pizza Hut that got her.”

  19. She-Doggs says:

    Wow, look how the possibility of getting some unknown “prize” brings out the comments. You must have more readers than you realized.

  20. Johanna says:

    She-doggs, is that your official quote?

  21. Christina says:

    Left foot says to Right foot: “so a shoe, a sock and a slipper walk into a bar…”

  22. BPonder says:

    Having just watched Ariel’s amazing tale of love at sea, Shea thinks to herself, “stupid feet…mermaids have all the luck.”

  23. Frank says:

    Seeing that I haven’t been notified that I won the contest, here goes:
    1) “That’s a bad case of Tolio.”
    2) ” The rest of the body parts must be scattered around the room somewhere.”
    3) “Get me a jar for these pig’s knuckles.”
    4) “The toes look good , but the pencil sharpener will never be the same.”
    5) “The alien stretched out uncomfortably on the sofa, wondering how his ten little painted heads would be acccepted by the earth people.”
    6) “She waits patiently while she sits for the hour glass molding process.”
    7) “I gotta get out of this joint.”
    8) “The hell with the “boots,” these are made for walking.”
    9) “That reminds me, I need to get these trousers back to the South American peasant I borrowed them from.”
    10) “If Nick leaves that Super Glue out one more time ,I’m gonna kick his ass.”

  24. Loyster says:

    For the sake of mankind, and your readers, please send Frank a gift certificate to the Jelly of the Month Club.

  25. Marty says:

    1) Nothing satisfied Shea’s perverted sense of irony more than cheerfully painting her toenails while watching “The Barefoot Contessa.”

    2) You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon. With nail polish.

  26. Thomas Wayne says:

    “Look at those sexy feet! Yep… still got it…” 🙂

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